remember.

My mind is a little scattered tonight.

Having a hard time staying focused for some reason.

The loud techno party going on outside definitely isn’t helping my concentration…

The background on my laptop is a picture I took of my niece and 3 nephews. I love those 3 rotten boys so much and it is impossible for me to believe they are growing so fast. My niece, Claire, is one of my best friends. She can shoot it to me straight, put me in my place, and roll her eyes at me like no one else can. My best friend, Kelli, witnessed this all for the first time at Christmas and she absolutely loved seeing Claire tell me how it was. (Very few people are ever successful in this task…let’s be real!) As I opened my laptop tonight, I was reminded once again of my care and concern for them.

My perspective and my relationships will be different now because of my time here. Very different.

See, there is nothing Claire, Thomas, Ryan or Jake could do to change my love for them. If I could not see them, I would find a way. If they needed something, I would make sure they had it. But I am not the only one who feels this way toward them. They don’t just have their Aunt Jilly looking out for them…they have parents, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, great aunts, great uncles, more friends, and a GG who would all do anything to make sure they were taken care. And taken care of well. Their pictures adorn walls. Their funny stories from when they were babies and toddlers are retold often, much to their dismay. We celebrate their lives by remembering their birthdays. We remember. We cherish them.

As their picture flashed across my screen, the cold truth hit me again that the children I just left, sleeping at the orphanage, do not have this same luxury. This is, sadly, not their life story. Many of them will not ever hear stories about when they were babies and toddlers. No one wrote down when they took their first steps or said their first words. Or if someone did remember, the sad truth now is that person is dead or no longer a part of their daily life. They live with other children. They are taken care of, and taken care of well, by a Mama and Papa who love them. And have given their lives to change these children’s situation.

Jon and Ashley took the day off today. They are technically supposed to have 1 day off each week…it has been 7 weeks since they have spent a day away from the orphanage. While the kids were all at school this afternoon, Katinka and I ventured out after the delicious rain stopped and went to Jon and Ashley’s house to get the “special plate” because today was Viviane’s birthday. Everyone eats on the special red plate on his or her special day. Ashley remembered Sunday night before we left the orphanage that I would need to come by and get the special plate because they were going to take today off. After quite the excursion to and from their house, Katinka and I arrived back at the orphanage with the plate safely for Viviane to eat her dinner on. Her sweet sixteen dinner. Viviane’s parents are both dead. Her and her siblings have been with Arbre de Vie for sometime. And they may not have an aunt who has their picture on her laptop or a proud grandfather who calls just to say “Hi”, but they have a Mama Ashley and a Papa Jon, who remember that special plates are needed for special days. And who call to sing “Bon Anniversaire” at the top of their lungs to sweet Viviane.

They remember.

And now, I will remember.

I will take pictures. Their faces will adorn my walls. Their names are forever etched on my heart. Their stories have changed me. The way they demonstrate such strength and resilience on a daily basis is humbling. They are grateful. And tonight as they hugged me and told me goodnight, I was struck with the realization once again of just how lucky I am to be here. It brings tears to my eyes to think of how God perfectly orchestrated this time in my life. 

I am here.

To know them.

To remember.

To share their story.

To show off their sweet, smiling faces.

To tell funny stories.

To celebrate with them.

To laugh with them.

To make things a little easier for their Mama and Papa.

To be their Tata Jill.

(And don’t worry…they just turned the music UP at the techno party…oh Africa!)