april 26th.

april 26th is always a day i remember well.

first of all, a few of my sweet friends share a birthday on this day.

krystle's birthday is april 26th.

she is one of my best friends.

my birthday is september 26th.

for years, we were under the impression that we celebrated our half birthdays on each others' birthday...but, as our friend amber graciously pointed out, in fact our birthdays are not 6 months apart...

i still secretly pretend my half birthday is on her birthday though.

guess it's not a secret now...

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last year, april 26, 2011 is a day i remember well.

it was krystle's 30th birthday!

kelli, amber, and i had spent the entire month of april showering her with a different gift everyday and planning some very fun surprises.

april is also the month my dad had surgery.

i was finishing up quite possibly my most difficult semester of graduate school.

i was working full time at the children's hospital.

i was going to clinical for school two days per week.

stressed and overwhelmed are two words that adequately describe me at that time.

two days before krystle's birthday, my dad was re-admitted to the hospital and in the ICU with significant breathing problems.

i spent april 26th running errands for her big birthday celebration and then i spent the entire afternoon in my dad's room of the ICU, thankful he was doing so much better. grateful amber and shane had made it home from florida and were there to offer some much needed reprieve at what had been a long, long month. (side note: something i have learned from my nursing experience and personal experience...it is always so nice when friends are present. you don't have to have the right words. you don't have to say anything at all. being there is always, always enough.)

krystle's party was so fun. and she was so surprised at dinner! the company was fantastic. and i remember the cake being exceptionally delicious.

it was the best day.

(krystle, me, amber)

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two years ago, april 26, 2010 is a day i remember well.

jonathan and kelli sat krystle and i down in their living room in broken arrow on that night and told us about the opportunity they had been given to move to beavercreek, ohio for jonathan to be the senior high pastor at beavercreek church of the nazarene.

i remember everything about that night so well.

i was at work.

i had been cancelled.

jonathan and kelli needed me to come over if possible...

i remember being so hateful to jonathan on the phone.
i hate thinking about that all now.

krystle and i met at our church because she had been at dinner with her family celebrating her birthday. 

i remember pulling into their driveway that i'd pulled into hundreds of times...and not wanting to walk in their door.

we both knew it was news we did not want to hear.

in that moment, on april 26, 2010, i can still feel the tears.

krystle, kelli and i were the definition of a "hot mess".

jonathan was so patient with all of us, just like he always is.

i hate to say it now, but i was not understanding in that moment.

i was hurt. and devastated. and selfish. and not kind, if the truth be told.

it was not the best day.

(krystle, me, kelli)

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and now, april 26, 2012...i am in west Africa.

living with and loving on some of the best people i've ever, ever known.

being changed. 

seeing everything differently.

driving a moto every single day.

sleeping under a mosquito net every single night.

sweating insane amounts every single day.
learning new french words and phrases every single day.

taking two very cold showers every single day.

drinking liters and liters of water every single day.

being called "Tata Jill" hundreds of times every single day.

6 weeks ago, i had never met any of these people.

i just knew OF them.

why? how did i know of them?

ashley was the youth pastor at beavercreek church of the nazarene before jonathan moved up there to be the senior high pastor.

why?

ashley and jon had left ohio to move to Africa.

why?

to live with and love on these children of Yedidja at Arbre de Vie.

2 years later, it all makes perfect sense.

2 years ago, i was still crying every night. (all the time, actually...)

2 years ago, i was mad.

2 year ago, i was not believing the Lord wanted my friends in Ohio.
2 years ago, i was selfishly wishing for them to ignore all signs that pointed to leaving oklahoma.

i wanted my friends in Oklahoma.

i wanted their baby to know me.
i wanted their baby to know her papa blackie and mimi nancy and GiGi.

i wanted to watch The Office on their couch and eat bluebell ice cream.

i wanted to dog sit for them even if samson maddens me on a good day.

(evelynn. i love you more than words.)

you see, it was all about what i wanted in those moments.
but what i wanted, didn't matter.
what i want, doesn't matter.

it has become quite clear over the past 2 years that jonathan and kelli are serving exactly where they are supposed to be serving. the lord is using them and i am just sad that i don't get to witness it all firsthand. it also became quite clear to me this week, as i was remembering back on the past 2 april 26th's that the lord has a funny way of working everything out.


if jonathan and kelli hadn't left oklahoma to move to ohio so jonathan could take ashley's place as the senior high pastor at beavercreek church of the nazarene, i would not be here.


i would not know anything about arbre de vie.
i would not know anything about benin.
i would not know anything about these children i have so quickly fallen in love with.


it always works out, doesn't it?
we might not see it in the moment.
because in the moment, the pain is real. the tears are real. the fear of the unknown is real.
but looking back, it all makes perfect sense.
and it is always, always worth it.


i am not sure what next april 26th will look like for me...
but i can't wait to find out. 
why?
because 2 years ago, i would have never thought my april 26th would have looked like this...

(hubert, alice, amide)

(damien)

and it was, just like every single day here, the best day.