Never Once

scars and struggles on the way

but with joy our hearts can say

yes, our hearts can say

never once did we ever walk alone

never once did You leave on us our own

You are faithful

God, You are faithful

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I am sitting in a comfy black, pleather sofa at the airport in Brussels, Belgium. A sunglass hut is in front of me with flip flips for sale out front. I was just sitting here thinking, "Why in the world are they selling flip flops in Belgium in December? It's cold out there". And then I quickly remember, I am in the "Africa" terminal. And let's be real, Africans love a good pair of flip flops. I know this firsthand. 

The past 36 hours are pretty foggy in my mind. There has been panic, laughter, tears, anxiety, restlessness, hugs, short tempers, peace, joy, sorrow...these are some of the emotions I have experienced since Thursday evening.

It all started with the "blizzard" in Chicago and talk of grounding flights, etc. I was set to fly in and out of Chicago on Friday to get to Brussels to make my flight to Cotonou. Usually delayed or grounded flights don't cause too much pandemonium but I freaked OUT when my parents told me at dinner on Thursday night that the news said Chicago O'Hare was grounding a lot of flights. I jumped up from the table in a panic. It wouldn't be that big of a deal, except flights only go into Cotonou, Benin from Brussels twice a week. So if i missed the flight in on Saturday, there would be no WAY I'd be there in time for Christmas. I was such a stress ball and so anxious. I got in the car to drive home because I wanted to call the airline and just burst into tears in the car. Kelli and Krystle were quick to assure me that everything would work out fine and sweet Evie was worried about her Tata being sad. The airline couldn't do much of anything. All flights were full. Plan was to pray the snow stopped and get to the Tulsa airport on Friday morning and pray all my flights were on time.

Thursday night was a mess of packing my 200 pounds of luggage and making sure no bag was over 50 pounds. I'm honestly not sure what I would have done without Kelli and Krystle there to help. Kelli and Evie flew in to surprise me on Thursday morning and Kelli's mad packing skills were very much appreciated. I probably just would have sat in my living room, overwhelmed, not packing, watching Elf and eating some comfort food that I shouldn't have been eating. But instead, all the packing was done by 10pm and I was in bed by 11:30pm. Fast asleep by midnight and pumped about 7 hours of sleep before the long 30 hour journey ahead of me.

I woke up at 3:45 to go to the bathroom and happened to look at my phone. I had emailed Jon and Ashley before going to sleep to let them know about the snow and possible plane mishap in Chicago, just so they'd be aware in case this Tata couldn't make the flight...I noticed that my nephew, Ryan, had tagged me in a post on Facebook at 3:30 and pulled up my Facebook app to see why in the world he was awake at 3:30am on a school night. The picture never pulled up. But the caption read something like, "guys, my house is burning down." I leapt out of bed and threw on a hoodie, my Uggs and bolted out of the house. My brother and sister-in-law do not live far from me and I rounded the corner to turn down their street and could see lights flashing. My heart was pounding. 

I had to park fairly far away from their house because the street was lined with firetrucks. A fireman was walking toward me, wrapping up a hose and I screamed, "IS THE FIRE OUT?". I didn't wait for him to answer. "THIS IS MY BROTHER'S HOUSE. HAVE YOU SEEN DOUG? DO YOU KNOW DOUG?". He gestured toward the house and said, "Everyone is fine. Doug was just over there. I just walked past him." Doug was walking toward me and he wrapped is arm around me. "Oh my word. What happened? Doug, are the boys okay? Is everyone ok?" He assures me, just as his fellow firefighter had, that everyone was fine. But that it is very, very bad. 

He had laid in bed with his wife and youngest son, Jake, and they fell asleep. So he got out of bed around 10pm and went to watch TV on the couch and fell asleep out there. Around midnight, he wakes up to this loud popping and it took him only seconds to realize what was happening. I am sure it's a sound he knows all too well, since he fights fires for a living. His house was on fire. He ran to the front of the house where Ryan's room is and as Ryan tells it Doug "busted through the door". He had to get his family out. He pulls Ryan out of bed, "Buddy, our house is on fire." They run to get Carma and Jake up. He hears Carma's cousin and her husband (who live across the street from them) screaming for them to wake up and get out of the house and they go out the backdoor that is attached to their master bedroom, they don't even have shoes on. A phone call is made to 911 on the porch and they run around the opposite end of the house to the street. Before that, they realize their dog isn't with them. So Doug goes back in the house and searches for him but by that time the smoke was too thick in the living room and he knew he needed to get out of there fast. He couldn't find Riley.

Jake, my 10-year-old nephew, told my mom and dad that he was running so fast over to David and Robbie's house that his feet never even touched the ground. They find shelter there but had to run by their home, engulfed in flames on the way there. A sight I know they will never, ever be able to forget. 3 different BA Fire Stations responded to the fire and were amazing in the entire process. I stopped my brother at this point in the story, as he's telling me it standing out on the street at 4 in the morning and said, "Oh please tell me they found Riley..."

For those of you who know this bunch, you know Jake Garrett loves that puppy dog. He was beside himself at the thought of him being stuck in the house and was wrapped up in my dad's arms on David and Robbie's couch crying when a fireman came in their house holding a soaking wet Riley. He was just fine. By the time I got into the house, he was fast asleep on the same couch but jumped up to greet me. No PTSD for that fella.

The loss is devastating. Really. All their belongings, gone. But I just kept sitting there, thanking God, that everyone was okay. Perfectly fine, for that matter. And that not one person had suffered any injury. It is just truly amazing that my brother was home that night and had fallen asleep on the couch. I can't even begin to let my mind wander to how different this scenario could have turned out.

As I got on my flight from Tulsa to Chicago, I turned on my iPod and it was on shuffle. The very first song that came on was a song by Matt Redman, "Never Once". We sing this song often at LifeChurch and it has quickly become one of my favorite worship songs. Some of the lyrics are at the top and bottom of this post. And they speak to my heart this morning as I'm sitting in the airport just like they spoke to me yesterday on the airplane and just like they do every time I sing them at church. Scars and struggles are on the way. We all face struggles. We all face situations that leave us scarred and broken and hurt. But my heart can always say, never ONCE did I ever walk alone through any scar or struggle I've endured. Never ONCE did He leave me on my own. He is faithful. Such a faithful God. And this morning I am thankful that He was faithful in protecting four of my favorite people on this earth.

We never walk alone friends. 

He will never leave us on our own.

We can turn our backs on Him. 

We can choose to not follow Him. 

But He remains faithful.

And this morning, in front of the Sunglasses Hut in Brussels, Belgium, I am so thankful for His continued faithfulness.

What can you be thankful for today? 

How is the Lord showing Himself faithful to you?

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every step we are breathing in Your grace

evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise

You are faithful

God, You are faithful