I could have missed this.

I landed in Benin for the very first time 5 years ago today. 

It seems like yesterday and also a lifetime ago all at the same time. Time is funny like, isn't it? 

Yesterday, I was driving into Cotonou and the ride into town was calm (which is never the case) and easy (which is also never the case). Seems that Sunday's are the day to be in the city...except everything is closed.

Outside of the city, a song came on and I got all teary eyed thinking about how much life has changed since my feet first touched this red dirt 5 years ago. And just how thankful I am for this beautiful life I am blessed to live amongst some of the best people I've ever met. 

I don't know what I was expecting at the time. Traveling 6,000 miles from home to a place so foreign from all I had ever known. But I found quickly that life as I had always known it was completely wrecked. In all the best ways. 

I remember landing in Cotonou in 2012 like it happened last week. I'll never forget the humidity crashing into me as I went to walk down the stairs off the plane. On the bus that takes travelers from the plane into immigration I took off my SWEATSHIRT (why?) and tied it around my waist. I was already POURING in sweat. After fighting my way through the madness that is the baggage claim (I mean, I didn't even know how to say "Hello!" in French at the time. #trainwreck), I walked out into the lobby and there was Ashley in this cute tank top and skirt, with a purse bigger than she was, holding a big, cold 1.5 liter of water. "Jillian! Hey! I'm Ashley." As I hugged her and she welcomed me Jon was right behind her and quickly took everything from me and started pushing my massive amounts of luggage to their car. There I was in all my sweaty, yoga pants, sweatshirt wearing glory.

I didn't know it at the time, but I had found my way home. 

I also didn't know it at the time, but I had just met people who would become some of my closest friends and also my family. 

We oftentimes don't know when we meet people just how much of an impact they will have on us, do we? But really, all of life is about relationships. The beginnings. The middles. The endings. The good. The bad. The ugly. The laughs. The tears. The healthy. The sick. All of it. All that really counts is who's beside us. Who we are impacting. Who is impacting us. 

This last year, we have been incredibly fortunate to become friends and ministry partners with Mercy Ships. It all started back in 2014 with their Advance Team and then in the summer of 2016 before the ship's arrival in August, it picked up right where it had left off. It's been so nice. Like literally SO nice to have this influx of people who want to be friends with us, be with our kids at the orphanage, invite us to do things with them...and last night as I was having one last ice cream date with my friend KJ before she left today for Cameroon, I just had to smile and thank God for all the beautiful people He has brought into my life. Throughout my entire life and especially in these past 5 years.

I have been thinking pretty consistently in recent weeks, leading up to this "anniversary" of sorts, that I could have missed all of this. I could have listened to the MANY self-doubts I had. The fear of the unknown. The anticipation of the future. I could have let all of that dictate my choices and missed all of this. 

Baby snuggles.
Deep giggles. 
Healed bodies. 
Late night yogurt dates + Paw Patrol. 
Miracles unfolding. 
Songs with the girls.
Dancing. 
Kisses. 
Hugs.
Being Tats. 

I could have missed it all. And it wasn't only my yes that made everything in the last 5 years possible. It was also the yes of my two friends, Jon and Ashley. Who took a huge risk on a girl from Oklahoma that they had never met and welcomed me with open arms and ice cold water.

I'm forever grateful for all of it.